youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
