Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
