I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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