my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
