We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
