i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
