My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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