You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
