yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
