She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
