its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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