I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
