Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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