he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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