Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
