She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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