they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
only if we run a train.
done.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
