It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
