We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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