dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
