You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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