is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
