Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
