I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
