No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
