you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
