How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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