Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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