i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
