Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
