I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
