hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
