you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Is it penis luge time yet?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
