his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
