You really coming over, don't trick.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
