it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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