the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
