I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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