are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The air taste purple.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
