Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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