so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
