how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
