apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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