Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
