I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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