I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
