that's an acceptable place to lick
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
