I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
