Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
