i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
