What did we do last night that was yellow?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
