Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
