Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
